Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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