No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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