Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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