This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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