She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize