oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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