I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize