i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
