saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
