...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I cockslap morals
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
