you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize