that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
