Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
