you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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