Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
