Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
This is the high leading the old right now
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
