Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
