was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
