Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
