idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
