thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
