im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
