So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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