I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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