Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
