I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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