well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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