the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
