i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Are my feet made of real feet?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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