just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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