are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
