I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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