He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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