Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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