plz talk dirty to me
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize