I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
These tits shall not be calmed
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
