it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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