tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
