you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
