Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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