Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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