Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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