"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
