i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i dont even know how to be here
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
