I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
