It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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