why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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