and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
