We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
