i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
