I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
