Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize