I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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