i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think a kid would responsible me up
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
