so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
