Apparently you make a good broom.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
