i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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