I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
