I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
