Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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