Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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