She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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