I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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