Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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