just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
