apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
