Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
