There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
