i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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