i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
