You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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