first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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