So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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