Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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