woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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